To All of My Expectant Friends and Family: Babies (and those 9 months in your tummy) are the BEST!!

The past few weeks I have been bombarded with news of dear friends and family expecting. Text messages, phone calls, facebook pictures, and in-person news have me reeling with joy with the prospect of new babies coming into this world (is there anything in this life better than that kind of news?? I think not!), all going to be born to simply AMAZING people that will make fantastic parents. Even writing this makes my heart skip beats with happiness. Having a baby, whether it is your first or fifth, is a wondrous miracle.

I’ve been thinking about those nine months leading up to that one nerve-wracking, hard, exhausting, emotionally draining, remarkable, marvellous, phenomenal, stupendous, life-altering day and what it meant for me each time. If you’ve been there before, feel free to add any that I’ve forgot. If this is your first time, hold on tight. Here’s a little bit of what to expect when you’re expecting.

1. Everyone, including strangers, will glance down at your tummy mid conversation. Try not to judge. You most likely did it too.

2. Everyone, including strangers, will touch your belly. When you become pregnant apparently your belly no longer becomes a part of you and an invisible “Please touch!” sign suddenly appears.

3. Nothing will sound good to eat. Or everything will sound good to eat. Or everything and nothing at the same time.

4. People will whisper behind your back, wondering if that little pouch you’re growing is more than the result of a few too many brownies. They will smile, knowingly, but not dare say a word just in case it is simply a result of brownies.

5. You will cry over EVERYTHING. Everything, I’m not even kidding.

6. You will be drawn to the baby clothes and want to buy the entire infant section. And you will cry, because they are all so darn cute.

7. Your husband will, at some point (unless he is much wiser a man than most) ever-so-innocently comment on the incredible weight transformation you have gone through. You will probably take it personally and you will cry.

8. Any organizational skills or memory of where you put your keys or phone will totally disappear. You’ve traded this little, amazing human being for a bird brain. It’s a fact.

9. You might want to consider making business cards to pass out or a large sign to carry around with answers to these questions:

• Oh! When are you due?
• Is it a girl or a boy?
• Are you hoping for one or the other?
• Are you excited?
• Are you getting nervous?
• How have you been feeling?

10. Prepare yourself now to hear all of the horrendous, nightmarish stories of other’s birth experiences. Try not to get scared out of your mind, too grossed out, and try not to judge. You just might be doing that too one day. Few can resist the excitement of telling their unique and very personal story of their sweet baby coming into the world.

11. When that baby is days away from making that début, multiple people will say, “Oh! You’re still here, are you?” And you just might cry because you are still here.

12. You will forever remember that meal that you ate after your child had exhaustingly been brought into the world. And those chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes will be the BEST chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes you have ever, ever tasted. Your dear husband will sneak away to get subway because, let’s face it, the deliciousness of the chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes are just a figment of your delusional, just-spent-the-last-9-months-growing-and-the-last-24-hours-delivering-a-human-being mind.

Dear friends and family carrying those precious little ones for the months ahead and awaiting their arrival, enjoy it! What an incredibly exciting time. You are in my thoughts and my prayers!